"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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