what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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