Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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