He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
