Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
