Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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