hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
