right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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