Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
