cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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