My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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