Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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