I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
