You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
