We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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