she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
