She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
