Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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