"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
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