my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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