turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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