I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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