why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
