Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
