Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
