i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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