Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
