Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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