I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
