I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
