if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Oh god it's open bar.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
