I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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