kristin has been a bad kristin
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
