i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
