I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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