I hate all girls vehemently.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
