Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just had sex bonerless
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
