Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
