what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
