So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
