last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
