carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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