Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
