the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
