Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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