Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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