meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
