I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
