Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
