I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
