I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
