have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
