Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
