he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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